Partnering With Parents - Part 2

What partnering means to me as a parent.

I have two teenage boys. Andrew is 16, Jake is 19.

Everything I said in my last post, Partnering with Parents - Part 1, is not just something I believe in because it is my job, or even because I love working with children and am passionate about helping kids know Jesus.

I also believe in partnering with parents because I am a parent who has been partnered with here at The Church at Argyle.

Before I was ever on staff, I was the Mom of two precious boys, and I needed help with this parent thing. Parenting is hard. I love being a Mom. It is the one thing, all of my life, that I was certain I wanted to do. But when you actually have a precious, helpless, living, breathing, human being, completely dependent on you... well, for me I realized very quickly, I needed help.

One of the ways God answered my prayer for help was when I found Argyle Christian Preschool and Kindergarten. My oldest, Jake, was four. I did what I saw as my duty and researched preschools in the area. I narrowed it down to four places based on research and word of mouth. I'll admit I was drawn to the schools that had brand new buildings and security systems with bells and whistles.

ACPK did not have either at the time, but I walked in the building and met the director. I can only describe it as a peace coming over me. I knew this was the place. I had never had that happen before.

I still looked at the rest of the schools on my list. However, I came back to Argyle. Here, I began to learn what it looked like and felt like to not just drop my child off at school but to be supported, encouraged, cared about - partnered with - as a parent.

I could do a whole blog about ACPK, but if you need a wonderful preschool for your 2, 3, 4 year old or Kindergartner, I highly recommend you call 904-778-4838 and talk to Terri or Sharon, or go to ACPK's website.

We had a church home before coming to Argyle. We loved it and loved the people, many of which I had known since I was a little girl. It was Jake asking about going to church at his school that brought us here for a visit. That, along with prayer that took me out of my comfort zone for what my children needed, turned into regular attendance and eventually membership.

The partnership has continued to grow throughout the lives of my children. First, children's ministry small group leaders in Kindergarten who made Jesus real, not just by the stories they told and activities they shared but by the way the treated my boys and the way they treated everyone. In the small group of a wonderful married couple, first Jake and two years after him, Andrew, accepted Jesus as their savior. From our conversations at the time I know that in their young minds and precious hearts, they knew exactly what they were doing.

They were not doing what they were told.

They were not following an alter call that 20 of their friends followed.

They had been taught about Jesus' love for them in a way that was so clear and real it gave them the childlike faith to say, this is what I want and I am ready.

They each prayed the prayer of salvation and were baptized here at Argyle. Each event was one of the happiest days of my life as a Mom! To this day I get emotional when I talk about these leaders and the impact they had in the lives of my children.

That impact has not stopped. Even though my boys moved out of that small group and into the next, each leader here has invested in my children. There have been student leaders along the way as well, who have given my child someone to look up to and want to be like while they are still young and still learning. This showed them that they have a purpose right now, not "someday". They went from elementary to junior high and their leaders took them out into the community to serve and encouraged them to find a way to connect right here. Jesus is as real to them and His love is as clear for them now as it was then.

With the guidance and encouragement of our High School Pastor and his wife, as well as that of our Senior Pastor, they both began serving in our church. Jake serves in our worship arts tech department and Andrew in our Youth worship band. Of course, both are serving with me in children's ministry. They are stuck with me! They honestly do a better job because I'm not the only one who holds them accountable. They serve with our Worship Arts in their areas of passion and giftedness because someone, besides me, believed in them and gave them a chance.

This summer, for the first time, I had the wonderful opportunity to go to our high school camp, BigStuf. This trip motivated me to write these blogs. Watching our leaders spend a week with our middle and high schoolers. Seeing existing relationships grow as we spent 24 hours a day together for five days straight. Watching them listen, laugh, cry, wait, eat, get tired and get grumpy together. See our kids understand that they are loved - no matter what. Watching them worship with their whole selves, get excited about how much God loves them and hear them say in their own words what they learned from the speakers, whether they were 12, 15 or 18. Watching them support and encourage each other as they shared their sins and fears with humility and courage. Watching them give and receive grace, trust and lean on each other as God's word teaches us.

My overwhelming emotion during the whole trip was gratitude.

I am grateful as a leader to know that when the children in my ministry leave UpStreet (K-5) and go to Crave (6-8) and then Impact (9-12), they are loved and led.I know their families have a group of leaders to help them know grace, forgiveness, courage and truth so they learn to trust in the One who created them.

I am grateful as a parent to have a family of leaders we trust, who will pray with us and pray for us. Leaders who have shown up faithfully and consistently in my son's lives, and earned the position of mentors and Godly leaders that my kids will talk to when they have questions. Leaders I can go to if there is an issue I need help with as a parent and who will come to me if my teenager has an issue that I need to know about. These are the people I will invite to their graduation. These are the people I will call when we need help.

Please don't miss this - we all need help. We are not meant to do any of this life alone.

I'll talk about some ways we can partner together in my next and final post in this series, Partnering with Parents - Part 3. If you're a parent at Argyle and have a story of encouragement for our leaders, please post it in the comments here. If you're a parent who wants to partner with us, email me at amygieger@iargyle.com and I'll get you connected with the right information and leaders.

You are not alone. We are better together.

Amy

Partnering With Parents - Part 1

Children's Ministry Director Amy Gieger discusses our approach to Children's Ministry.

Partnering with parents.

We use that phrase in our children's ministry. 

What does it mean?

I can tell you what it means as our Children's Ministry Director. 

It means having consistent small group leaders, the same hours, every Sunday for the entire school year.

We do this because this is the best way for our children and parents to feel safe, to connect, to feel welcome and accepted, with a leader who is faithful and invests their heart and their time to care about each child and family in their small group. 

It means using curriculum that meets each child where they are, at each age and developmental level.

We do this so that they don't just adopt their parents faith, then lose it along the way.

Instead, they transition from believing what they are told, to understanding, choosing and living out their own, authentic faith and relationship with Christ.

It means providing environments where kids are allowed to move, play,be loud and ask questions.

We do this because this is how they are made and this is how they learn and grow.

It means finding and training and inspiring leaders to understand that EVERY child is made in the image of God.

We do this so that for at least the one hour per week they are here, they have a place where 

• they see and are shown God's love for them
• they are welcome and accepted
• they learn to give and receive grace
• they are valued and cared about

It means being intentional and consistent as parents and leaders about letting our middle and high school students serve alongside our dedicated adult leaders now, so that they realize they can lead and make a difference today, not someday when they are "grown up".

If we show them how and let them lead in areas where they are gifted now, they transition seamlessly from student leaders to adult leaders because they already know how.

They learn that they are important and capable, that God can work through them just as they are. If we wait to utilize their gifts until they are adults, they have been on the outside waiting to get in for so long that the steps they need to take to be a leader are overwhelming. The memory of being kept out is more vivid than the momory of wanting to serve.

This all works best when small group leaders and parents make the effort to communicate,
pray for each other and their children. It works especially when they reach out to each other in a crisis or significant change in the life of the family, good or bad, so that they can comfort, pray with, encourage and celebrate together with the child.

The final end of our Children's Ministry is when small group leaders and parents recognize their children's interests and gifts, then reach out to get them connected with a leader in that area of ministry as they enter junior high so they learn what it feels like to serve. They learn to think and care about someone besides themselves, 
to stop thinking about their own needs and problems for a while, and instead care about the needs and spiritual growth of their small group, their church and their community.

As a leader I am passionate about this philosophy because as a parent I have proof that it works.
I will share those examples in my next post, Partnering With Parents - Part 2.

Until then - if you are not already bringing your kids consistently during the same hour each Sunday I encourage you to change that starting this week.

If you have not reached out to or met your child's small group leader, I encourage you to make that happen this Sunday.

If you or your middle or high school student is not serving already, call or email me and I will help you find where there are opportunities in our church and community to start now.

We are better together,

Amy

A Guest Post... Thank You...

First, a word of explanation for those who aren't familiar with the back story.

Our guest poster, Beth Reed, is a member of the Argyle family. Her 13 year old daughter, June, was in an accident on Saturday, January 22. She suffered a serious head injury, and was admitted to Wolfson Children's Hospital that day. Her injury was potentially life-threatening, with the possibility of permanent damage.

Dear Church At Argyle:

I've been trying for a few days now to compose this thank you but I'm struggling. The words just don't seem to want to flow. They are all kinda log jammed in my brain. I know sometime soon the log jam will clear and the words will rush out of me like a verbal water fall but until then I guess this will have to do. 

Yesterday marked the end of what I can say with clear conscience was the single worst week of my life. It ended when I left June with her sister and ran to the store to get her prescription. Returning home I could hear it before I got out of my car. Music. Loud music. The path my heart took from chest to stomach when I saw the police car last Saturday was now reversing. I could feel its joyful beat and it dislodged itself from my stomach and happily marched back into my chest. As I opened my front door and walked straight into a wall of music, God was there and He said “See, I told you.” I walked into the kitchen and just let it roll over me. The sight of my girl, no, not MY girl, OUR girl perched in her daddy's chair whaling away on her drum kit. I knew it was going to be alright. 

You, my beloved Church at Argyle have been there every step of the way. From Mrs. Sarah showing up in the ER before June had her first CT-Scan, to the Bass family surviving getting puked on in the ICU, (dude, by the way - June puking on the Student Pastor has now become family legend) to Mrs. Donna holding her hand while June talked her way through her PICC-line installation, to Mrs. Amy standing on her feet for HOURS holding June's hand and bringing tape! To “Awesome Emmie” bringing love and letters, to Pastor Hal defending Peter and Paul, to Mrs. Sarah laughing off June's verbal filter failure and finally, to the vastness of the prayer chain, thick and ponderous with its power. 

I have never experienced anything quite like the last week but what amazes me most is what I've found in the midst of the chaos. The moments of love and laughter and support and learning that your prayer afforded me. God saved my child, He brought her back to me, but you? You lifted me up and you opened my eyes so I could see. 

In the face of all of this, thank you seems rather inconsequential but as Mrs. Sara admonished me “Beth, just say thank you.” (Yes Ma'am Ms. Sarah.)

To you Pastor Rick, Mrs. Donna, the leadership, staff and congregation of The Church At Argyle, I say,

Thank you!

Beth Reed

Why The Church Needs To Change When Jesus Hasn't...

Here is a link to a post on Perry Noble's blog you need to read.

He is the Pastor of NewSpring Church in Anderson, South Carolina. He is just as passionate about God and being real and relevant for Christ as our own Pastor Ken. Perry's style is different but his message is the same.

The message is - we are here to reach people for Christ, not to protect ourselves in a Christian bubble. The people we are trying to reach are those who do not know Jesus yet.

The church should be a place where believers greet and welcome people, children, families, who are looking for Jesus. We are not trying to make people more like us; we are introducing them to Jesus so they can build a relationship with Him, choose to ask him to dwell in their hearts and become new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Perry doesn't pull any punches so please get past the language and hear the message, see this child through Jesus' eyes.

This is our job every week in the children's ministry. This is our job every day in a world looking for Christ but being criticized by Christians.

 Amy Gieger
Children's Ministry Director

Can I skip this season and say I didn’t?

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV).

I was reading my devotion this morning and this was the verse that inspired it. The devotion was about a mom who is homeschooling her children and on that day felt like she would never get past the lesson they were learning that week. We all know how that feels. It may be the assignment we have in school, the particular job/account/mission we’re assigned to at work, the age of our children and the specific difficulties that come with it, (you know potty training or junior high or dating, etc.), the stage our marriage is in right now, our health or the health of a loved one, or the state of our finances. Some days it feels like we will be there forever and we so desperately wish to be through it, over it, even just away from it for a while. We want to escape- right?

I was feeling like that myself this past week and then I went to an early childhood education conference on Saturday. The keynote speaker was a woman who has been in early childhood education for more than 30 years. She shared specific instances God has used in her life where there have been parents who seemed as though they were so far from God and from being good parents that no matter how she tried to help and care about their child and family nothing seemed to change or reach them. Time after time they would show up late or walk in high on something, send their children to school in the same diaper they had left in the evening before, etc.  She would get so frustrated and discouraged that she would finally decide to tell them they could not be in her school anymore. She would get to the point where she was telling God, “I’ve helped all I can.” “I’ve tried hard enough. I’m done!"

Of course, that was the point where that family, that Mom or Dad would finally ask for help, or open up and want to know more about Jesus. She was honest enough to say how hard it was to put her anger aside at that point. To not look at them and say, “Oh, now you want help?”. But, praise God, she would stop, let go of how she was feeling and let God work through her to say "Yes, He really does love you. It really is as simple as He says it is. He loves us, He sent His son to die for us and all we have to do is admit what we already know about ourselves and choose Him."

There were some amazing stories of life change and Godly restoration and healing! Each story was a clear reminder that He can do anything but is so often patiently waiting, while preparing the way for me or you as believers to share Him. He is waiting for us, as the ones who have lived in His love and forgiveness, to be the salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16 NIV). Preparing us through these seasons of testing to be the person that is trusted with the question, “Is it true? Is it true what you are teaching my child? Is it true what I see by how you live your life? Is it true what the Pastor says?"

Rest in His love today and remember with me that no matter what season we are in we can trust God’s timing and purpose. We can trust Him to show us grace so that we can show it to others. We can trust His forgiveness so we must forgive. We can trust Him to speak when we are out of words. We can trust Him to use even us, in our weakness, to show others how to reach Him and find what we’ve found- peace, restoration and hope.

Amy Gieger
Children's Ministry Director

The Story of the Fall...

will be released on Sunday, August 9.

The Story of the Fall is a book about our pastor who lost his memory. Dr. Ken Dyal suffered a severe brain injury in a fall. The damage caused him to lose not only those memories made prior to his accident; he also loses memories made more than four weeks before the present. This book tells how he and his family coped with his crisis. The story is about the grace of God and the emotional investment we put into our loved ones and the human links that bring us – and sometimes keep us – together.

About the author

Adrian Greene grew up in Jacksonville, moving to the First Coast when he was nine years old. He graduated from Stanton College Preparatory School. He then earned a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree in English literature from Wake Forest University. Currently, Adrian is teaching and working on his PhD at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He lives in High Point with his wife, Melissa Painter, who is the daughter of our Worship Arts Pastor and his wife, Rick and Donna Painter.

The book may be purchased at the close of our Worship Gathering on August 9. Pastor Ken and Adrian Greene will be available to sign your copies.

After August 9, the book may be purchased through our Church Office and online at Amazon.com.

Reading is "Fun"damental...

Do you read? For fun, for education, only when you have to, never?

I am a fun and/or learning reader. Of course, for fun is the easiest and to read for learning at this stage in my life usually fueled by something God is leading me to, something I need to know about for my children or a subject or title that I've been encouraged to read by someone I respect.

Most of the time reading is my "escape", my quiet time, something I do for myself kinda thing. I'm trying to pass on this love and value of reading to my children. My two boys and I frequent the library. We even know how to work the self check out. Seriously!! This summer we've been reading poetry and listening to more audio books but the most valuable book I'm reading with them right now (though it is taking us a few months to get through because I read it at bedtime on the nights that I am not so exhausted I can't see to read) is a book by James Dobson on adolescence. It brings up a lot of topics and issues I am uncomfortable with but God has impressed on me how important this time in their lives is and that if my husband and I (he's is talking to them too) are not talking to them about this stuff then they will form their opinions and morals from people who are not uncomfortable talking about it. Do I even have to go there to tell you why I need to be pro-active against that???!!!!

I have always been a reader, even when I was little. I know it has a lot to do with my parents reading to me every night at bed time. That was a time I looked forward to every day (though going to sleep was a completely different story back then). I enjoyed the stories, the time with my Mom and/or Dad, the comfort, the questions, the just one more story pleeeaaaase! It was a great help as I learned how to read, expanded my vocabulary and realized that a good book could make any day better (especially a bad one). I am a HUGE fan of reading with my kids and I highly recommend it for every parent and child.

So reading came easily, made sense, and helped me perform better in every other aspect of my life (except maybe for calculating math in my head). You might say, well Amy, "miss reader pants" reading is not fun for everyone. No- really? Why in the world not?

Okay, okay, I do know that a big part of my life has been spent with children. I know that we all learn differently and not everyone is made with the "YAY reading" gene. What I have learned though is that everyone loves a good story. Their definition of what a good story is may be different and some would rather watch or hear than read but everyone loves a good story. We love to be drawn into another world, shown how someone is getting through something we can relate to, live vicariously through someone else's experiences and most of all be INSPIRED by someone else's life, career, battle, perseverance, compassion and love.

SO... I challenge you to find something to read or listen to or watch that inspires you today! The Bible is the first book that comes to mind to recommend, but there are many books out there that God can use to love and grow and inspire us if we let Him. He is in all things you know. :-)

Better yet, share the most inspiring story of love and sacrifice ever told, the story of the cross, with someone who has never heard it. How about someone you know who has heard it. Could be the start of a conversation that includes someone's inspiring story you wouldn't have heard otherwise...

I'd love to hear what you're reading or listening to and how God is inspiring you!

Peace and Love in Christ,

Amy Gieger
Children's Ministry Director

Father's Day

Sunday is the last day of the U.S. Open. Who will finish the last round and win? Tiger? Phil? Only one winner, one trophy.

Sunday is also Father's Day. Men, let's decide to finish our round of responsibilities. Life includes failure and success. Tom Landry, former coach of the Dallas Cowboys, said, "A winner never stops trying."

I hope to see you on the 18th green. There's room on the trophy for our names, too.

Pastor Ken